I remembered my loneliness; I felt it with a defencelessness that I had denied myself at the time. The feeling that writing was impossible; that I would never find a place in the world that felt like home; that no one except my wife would ever care about me, about the things that for me held meaning.
That last sentence gave me a brilliant shudder! We returned to live in the town where we studied over twenty years ago and recently passed through the hallways of our former university. Walking past the doors and peeking into the rooms where our former selves seemed to still linger, we had a similar experience of reflecting on how little we realized what lay ahead of us (both in trials and joys). Now you will have me reflecting on "the third chair"...
Henrik! You’ve made such a personal reflection universal. As I read along, I quickly traced a parallel path happening in my own life, which made the ending all the more powerful.
A third chair? Wow!, I thought. You mean I’ll get what I’m working so hard to achieve and then there will be more? Ok, I’m in. Back to the grind stone!
Commenting on the same posts while sitting across from each other in front of the fire… that’s how Tom and I start most days.
At the moment I am hip deep in an apprenticeship to develop my skills for naturalistic art. I draw and draw and draw alone in a little 10x10 room, with visions of what I’ll do with my skills once I develop them dancing in my head. When I move on to painting, I’ll be sitting in the second chair. What my third chair will be, I have no idea, yet.
Thank you for this lovely reflection Henrik. I get a similar feeling when working with people who are earlier in their journey than I am. I can sometimes see the same actions I made earlier on, and from my vantage point I can appreciate how much I've grown.
Well, well, here’s a trick I didn’t know you had up your sleeve! So evocative, so minimalist, and yet still with your trademark depth. Nicely done Henrik!
With a scene so beautifully rendered, you don’t need a lot of explanation. I’m glad you left it so spare. I’m sure the temptation was there to explicate, explicate.
Yes, I did a version first which I disliked because it was too detailed and soft so I threw it away. Then this morning it came back and I read it as a voice memo and it was more bare, and then I cut 30 percent to make it has "hard" as I could.
Everything is perfect in this exquisite piece. Thank you. Tell me please about the photograph (where, what, who) which also contains love and tension, persistence, and rescue.
Thank you for this. It brought me back to when i decided to ditch every normal path, everyone whom i had put on a pedestal advised against it and i endured waves of criticism followed by waves of self pity and doubt.
I had a similar realization when i realized that every criticism came from ppl who were on a different path, who had 0 experience. I just hadn’t found the right people yet
While I have come far like i’m turning back to see the third chair
Your memory is so remarkably worded here that it has been seared in my memory and in my journal as a further reminder. I hope to show this manner of care to my future self and that future self can then look back upon it and write about it, and that will make a reminder for someone else. We're talking about a recursive loop of life-affirming memories now. Thank you for starting it.
I've been in awe of that since we moved here. Also, all libraries are interconnected so you can order books from the same catalogue for free which means I have the main university libraries open on demand for free even though I live 5+ hours from the closest big town.
I have an effusive feeling when I look back at the lonely, hardworking me of the pandemic. I restled with my solitude, and it saddens me to think I'll never have it quite like that again.
(I've just reread Letters to a Young Poet so these feelings are especially heavy).
That last sentence gave me a brilliant shudder! We returned to live in the town where we studied over twenty years ago and recently passed through the hallways of our former university. Walking past the doors and peeking into the rooms where our former selves seemed to still linger, we had a similar experience of reflecting on how little we realized what lay ahead of us (both in trials and joys). Now you will have me reflecting on "the third chair"...
Henrik! You’ve made such a personal reflection universal. As I read along, I quickly traced a parallel path happening in my own life, which made the ending all the more powerful.
A third chair? Wow!, I thought. You mean I’ll get what I’m working so hard to achieve and then there will be more? Ok, I’m in. Back to the grind stone!
What are you working on now—painting?
Btw, J and I think it is hilarious that you and Tom always comments on the same posts.
Commenting on the same posts while sitting across from each other in front of the fire… that’s how Tom and I start most days.
At the moment I am hip deep in an apprenticeship to develop my skills for naturalistic art. I draw and draw and draw alone in a little 10x10 room, with visions of what I’ll do with my skills once I develop them dancing in my head. When I move on to painting, I’ll be sitting in the second chair. What my third chair will be, I have no idea, yet.
Thank you for this lovely reflection Henrik. I get a similar feeling when working with people who are earlier in their journey than I am. I can sometimes see the same actions I made earlier on, and from my vantage point I can appreciate how much I've grown.
This made me cry tears of gratitude for my past self. Thank you.
Well, well, here’s a trick I didn’t know you had up your sleeve! So evocative, so minimalist, and yet still with your trademark depth. Nicely done Henrik!
I've been practicing shorter froms for more than a year and one finally clicked!
With a scene so beautifully rendered, you don’t need a lot of explanation. I’m glad you left it so spare. I’m sure the temptation was there to explicate, explicate.
Yes, I did a version first which I disliked because it was too detailed and soft so I threw it away. Then this morning it came back and I read it as a voice memo and it was more bare, and then I cut 30 percent to make it has "hard" as I could.
Everything is perfect in this exquisite piece. Thank you. Tell me please about the photograph (where, what, who) which also contains love and tension, persistence, and rescue.
Oh, you are right I forgot to add image credits: it is from the film "Ivan's Childhood" by Tarkovsky.
And thank you :)
Incredible film
holy moly
Thrilling piece.
I think the art here is that the title is the punch, but you don't get it until you actually read through.
(that besides for the actual content ofc)
Thank you for this. It brought me back to when i decided to ditch every normal path, everyone whom i had put on a pedestal advised against it and i endured waves of criticism followed by waves of self pity and doubt.
I had a similar realization when i realized that every criticism came from ppl who were on a different path, who had 0 experience. I just hadn’t found the right people yet
While I have come far like i’m turning back to see the third chair
Couldn’t have been better timing 🫂
Your memory is so remarkably worded here that it has been seared in my memory and in my journal as a further reminder. I hope to show this manner of care to my future self and that future self can then look back upon it and write about it, and that will make a reminder for someone else. We're talking about a recursive loop of life-affirming memories now. Thank you for starting it.
That closing sentence gave me chills. Loved this piece.
This detail about opening up a library at any hour with just your social security card lit up my brain!
I've been in awe of that since we moved here. Also, all libraries are interconnected so you can order books from the same catalogue for free which means I have the main university libraries open on demand for free even though I live 5+ hours from the closest big town.
I have an effusive feeling when I look back at the lonely, hardworking me of the pandemic. I restled with my solitude, and it saddens me to think I'll never have it quite like that again.
(I've just reread Letters to a Young Poet so these feelings are especially heavy).
picturing/talking to future self has been very helpful. semi religious feeling.
Beautiful