It is always a boon to my mood, my day, my week, my life, when I give myself the time to sit down and read your writing, Henrik. Thank you for writing about the personal, and the personally interesting.
Beautiful, one of my favorite essays you’ve written. Thank you for sharing this private piece in your way.
The difference between “jagged,” public, social joy and “soft”, private, interior joy resonates. Lately I’ve been working on a long writing project, and I find that I don’t want to say much about it to taint its development. The same goes for some recently budding relationships.
What your piece pushes me to consider is the capitulation of this process. As in, what does it look like when this private gestation finally yields fruit?
Clearly, this essay is not something you could have written while getting to know Johanna. It’s something you could only achieve now, when the beauty of that relationship speaks for itself. That’s a connection I’ve made in reading this: beautiful things flourish in private, and they’re ready for other eyes when the interior joy has found its own voice.
Which reminds me of Murakami’s admonition, via his character Midori, that true love “walks on its own two feet.” As should a true work of art. It’s a privilege to witness that kind of interior beauty blossom—so thanks again!
Henrik thank you for writing with such clear vulnerability. I'm in university currently and I've found inspiration in so much of your writing to aid me in piecing together the fragments of my own life.
Very refreshing and relieving to hear that you too were "lost", running away from reality, and filled with coping mechanisms. I could benefit from hearing that reminder more frequently sometimes.
I have a physical journal I carry around with me whenever I travel. I look back at the entires in that journal over the years and relish in the funny, light-hearted narratives of my adventures. It's actually wild to open up and read because when I do I feel like I'm interacting with a different person than the one who fills the pages of my "home journal".
Reading this essay, I don't think I'm alone in recognizing my different personas as they come out on paper. All this to say that this piece was the nudge I needed to get back to writing, with intention and upon reflection, no matter where I am in the world.
Beautiful piece, Henrik. I admire how you structure the piece around your growing relationship with you now wife: how your approach to journaling gradually changed (moving "toward the good, rather than away from the bad") as you and your now wife grew closer together.
I appreciate the clarity in your writing and truly enjoy imagining Johanna through your words in this series. I wonder, if Johanna also felt this “knowing” that you talk about after the first 10 minutes of your conversation. I’ve been pondering this “recognition” and “knowing” myself, and have heard this from many couples, and people in love, about how when you know, you know. How do you know?
I came back to re-read this essay to ask this very question. @Johanna, I'll be very grateful if you wrote one from your perspective. Because, eventually I presume you did know. (I potentially see myself in your shoes in this scenario.)
And Henrik, I keep coming back to "that a person like her could even exist was enough to make me feel that the world was a good place." This has become my definition for love. And I worry, for it has very rarely happened.
Thank you both for yet another gently moving piece :')
Johanna is you. The generous life force --ö-- animating the other parts of you with buzzing cells that strongly desire to love and reflect your beauty.
An email hit my inbox today telling me my Escaping Flatland subscription ends tomorrow. After reading this I've decided to renew. I like most everything you write, I'm just reading less substack as I work on other things.
What a joy to be drawn into your personal growth story — and into reminiscing about my own diaries and relationship with my husband. Thank you, Henrik!
Great read. Made me wanna stop work and start writing a personal essay!
A serendipitous outcome of reading this too: I noticed your Rogers quote — and the Fromm reference — both of who I think were contemporaries of Alfred Adler, who I'm only recently learning about, and whose ideas I'm finding tremendously valuable and vindicating, specifically his ideas around self-acceptance (that's one of his key tenets), orienting to learning goals rather than performance goals, and horizontal, rather than vertical, relationships.
I love how you've taken some of Adler's ideas, whether you were aware of it or not, and made them enjoyable and accessible for me to read about. Thank you!
+1 on Adler. So much wisdom and knowledge embedded within his work. And Henrik, whether knowingly or otherwise, echoes many similar sentiments. Thanks for sharing.
Reading this, I'm starting to think Escaping Flatland is a bundle of love letters to Johanna. 🤭
It is always a boon to my mood, my day, my week, my life, when I give myself the time to sit down and read your writing, Henrik. Thank you for writing about the personal, and the personally interesting.
Beautiful, one of my favorite essays you’ve written. Thank you for sharing this private piece in your way.
The difference between “jagged,” public, social joy and “soft”, private, interior joy resonates. Lately I’ve been working on a long writing project, and I find that I don’t want to say much about it to taint its development. The same goes for some recently budding relationships.
What your piece pushes me to consider is the capitulation of this process. As in, what does it look like when this private gestation finally yields fruit?
Clearly, this essay is not something you could have written while getting to know Johanna. It’s something you could only achieve now, when the beauty of that relationship speaks for itself. That’s a connection I’ve made in reading this: beautiful things flourish in private, and they’re ready for other eyes when the interior joy has found its own voice.
Which reminds me of Murakami’s admonition, via his character Midori, that true love “walks on its own two feet.” As should a true work of art. It’s a privilege to witness that kind of interior beauty blossom—so thanks again!
I really love how reading essays by interesting people is my new social media.
Henrik thank you for writing with such clear vulnerability. I'm in university currently and I've found inspiration in so much of your writing to aid me in piecing together the fragments of my own life.
Very refreshing and relieving to hear that you too were "lost", running away from reality, and filled with coping mechanisms. I could benefit from hearing that reminder more frequently sometimes.
I have a physical journal I carry around with me whenever I travel. I look back at the entires in that journal over the years and relish in the funny, light-hearted narratives of my adventures. It's actually wild to open up and read because when I do I feel like I'm interacting with a different person than the one who fills the pages of my "home journal".
Reading this essay, I don't think I'm alone in recognizing my different personas as they come out on paper. All this to say that this piece was the nudge I needed to get back to writing, with intention and upon reflection, no matter where I am in the world.
Beautiful piece, Henrik. I admire how you structure the piece around your growing relationship with you now wife: how your approach to journaling gradually changed (moving "toward the good, rather than away from the bad") as you and your now wife grew closer together.
I appreciate the clarity in your writing and truly enjoy imagining Johanna through your words in this series. I wonder, if Johanna also felt this “knowing” that you talk about after the first 10 minutes of your conversation. I’ve been pondering this “recognition” and “knowing” myself, and have heard this from many couples, and people in love, about how when you know, you know. How do you know?
I didn't
I came back to re-read this essay to ask this very question. @Johanna, I'll be very grateful if you wrote one from your perspective. Because, eventually I presume you did know. (I potentially see myself in your shoes in this scenario.)
And Henrik, I keep coming back to "that a person like her could even exist was enough to make me feel that the world was a good place." This has become my definition for love. And I worry, for it has very rarely happened.
Thank you both for yet another gently moving piece :')
Good things happen when we’re being sincere
I've been thinking about this recently. Glad to see your comment.
Your writings call forth a better me. Thank you.
Yes. It’s called getting out of the way.
Johanna is you. The generous life force --ö-- animating the other parts of you with buzzing cells that strongly desire to love and reflect your beauty.
I think it's finally time to open those old journals after many years. Thanks for sharing this very sincere and insightful account.
Maybe we all need to find a Johanna. Maybe, just maybe that’s all we’ve ever been meant to do.
This resonated with me in so many way I cannot begin to list them all.
You’re able to feel the shame, guilt and appreciation for your growth in these words.
Beautiful.
“when I spoke about what was private, odd, embarrassing, painful, or taboo, she became curious”
All we ever want is someone who’ll hold us instead of judge us.
thank you for this comment, I love how you wrote this
An email hit my inbox today telling me my Escaping Flatland subscription ends tomorrow. After reading this I've decided to renew. I like most everything you write, I'm just reading less substack as I work on other things.
What a joy to be drawn into your personal growth story — and into reminiscing about my own diaries and relationship with my husband. Thank you, Henrik!
Great read. Made me wanna stop work and start writing a personal essay!
A serendipitous outcome of reading this too: I noticed your Rogers quote — and the Fromm reference — both of who I think were contemporaries of Alfred Adler, who I'm only recently learning about, and whose ideas I'm finding tremendously valuable and vindicating, specifically his ideas around self-acceptance (that's one of his key tenets), orienting to learning goals rather than performance goals, and horizontal, rather than vertical, relationships.
I love how you've taken some of Adler's ideas, whether you were aware of it or not, and made them enjoyable and accessible for me to read about. Thank you!
+1 on Adler. So much wisdom and knowledge embedded within his work. And Henrik, whether knowingly or otherwise, echoes many similar sentiments. Thanks for sharing.