The shapes of our stories limit what can be said
Couples who have had secure attachment going for a decade plus radiate such a beautiful reality enhancement field, you feel like family just being in their presence
One pet theory I have is that many people who are scared of commitment just haven’t been around a good model of what it can look like
When you see how it can go well, it’s so obviously worth striving for
— a tweet by Sasha Chapin
It would be great if there was a book or a film that charted the trajectory of a profoundly healthy and transformational relationship so that more people could immerse themselves in that experience. But after searching my memory, googling, and asking ChatGPT and Twitter for recommendations I haven’t been able to find one that matches what I have in mind. And I guess the reason is: it wouldn’t make sense as a story.
There are plenty of stories of infatuations and courtship, stories about impossible love, toxic love, unrequited love—because there is tension there. But a decade-long relationship with secure attachment? It would be two people having open-ended conversations and shopping for groceries.