I had a quick 10 minutes between rushing from a work meeting to my gym class. I wanted a few minutes to just breathe. Scrolling through my inbox, I saw a new post by Henrik called "On Child Birth" and I thought thats quite unusual but also am I in the headspace to read about child birth (from a man, I assumed, confused). Decided to open it up. 10 minutes later, I feel replenished, ready for my gym workout, working with my body and not against it, to be my best version. I mean, needless to say, the post itself is very beautifully written. And a couple of push ups and squats are nothing comparable to pain endured during a child birth (not that I know what it is like). It is still a good way to think about experiencing and managing pain, regardless. Thanks Johanna for writing this. Feel like giving you a big, warm hug.
thanks for this post, we are expecting our third any day now, and we try to get better at the birthing process. Its painful to think of how much knowledge is lost to institutionalism - the medical institutions looking at birth as a mechanical, rather than a natural/organic process. humans are being trained out of listening to their body.
Constant blather from Zen Buddhist sources about making friends with your pain, but this was like a well-written instruction manual for how to do that. I can’t tell you how inspiring this was for me in how to face challenges intelligently. I can’t thank you enough
Thank you for sharing! I'm having my first child in September, so I've been reading all of the birth stories I can to get an idea of what to expect. What a pleasant surprise to find one from an unexpected source in my inbox this morning!
We had a similar shift in birth quality between our first and second. The first was in the hospital, planned induction at 41 weeks, and it was terrible. Seemed like we were on some out-of-control ride, where we were presented with inadequately explained choices, and then after we made them there were a lot of immediate actions that were driven by the choices which hadn't been discussed. For example, it turns out that if the baby isn't delivered a few hours after contractions are induced, they have to do a c-section. This was never mentioned. We came out of that one harrowed. Maternal stress and mechanical overriding of physiological cues definitely contributed to a bit of a rough start for the baby as well; he got dehydrated the first day, and his immune system was a little weak until he turned 3 or so. Needed a little longer to cook.
Our second we went the full opposite route; home birth, personally hired midwife. My wife was so much more relaxed. Sure there were minor hiccups (also with bathwater) but overall the experience was impossibly better. We were out playing disc golf and my wife was having contractions, but she thought they were around every 30 minutes. After the round we got in the car and I timed them, and they were at 7 minutes. Called the midwife, she agreed with my wife but decided to come by and measure anyways. Midwife came by at 8pm, measured 2 minutes between contractions. "You're in labor!". 3 hours later my daughter was born in our guest room. Perfect 10/10 on the Apgar score, she and my wife were asleep in our bed before midnight.
Thank you so much for this post. I'm long past the age of birthing a child, but I do recognize the significance of attuning to the body's guiding wisdom toward the pleasures of agency and rest. Thank you, Johanna, for your precise and detailed descriptions of how you navigated through your birthings. "It made it visceral to me how important it is to shoulder the full responsibility for your problems and to gather the information you need. This is good to have in your bones in all sorts of situations." So simply stated; after reading the story of your birth process, my body is humming with alert, joyful, anticipation: a swoosh of oxytocin!
My spouse and I have made the decision not to have kids, and I am personally very weary of how many similar and similarly confined narratives there are about women giving birth. Reading Joanna's thoughts, feelings, and observations was such a welcome departure, and one that resonated much more with how I make sense of the world generally. It also gave me the spark for a creative idea which I find extremely exciting—and that doesn't happen to me often.
My spouse and I also work together and have a similar philosophical approach to our relationship, so I have always felt a true kinship with your unit and the way Escaping the Flatlands focuses so much on the space between two people. I loved getting to read the two of you in conversation with each other like this. Thanks, in many ways, for sharing.
These birth reflections are infused with not only the physical descriptions but keen mental and emotional underpinnings as well. So important to knit those together in the telling. Not everyone has the ability to experience the midwifery model of care. Some due to high risk, others due to lack of access. But a midwife attended birth is designed to support and help facilitate a deeply transformative and empowering birth experience. (I know not always but the model is based on this.)
I love how you described taking control and being the leader in your own experience. I believe this is the key to an empowered birth (and postpartum) experience. This can be the case for inductions, planned cesareans, long labors or changes in the ideal birth plan.
Hugs and empathy to anyone who has had scary or traumatic birth or postpartum experiences. I am a lactation consultant and know how all of this is intertwined and connected.
I hope reading your account will help others navigate or process their own journeys.
I learned pretty much everything from a Swedish midwife named Asabea Britton. She has written books and teaches courses (unfortunately only in Swedish, although she may offer private coaching in English). Her course is based on hypnobirthing. I haven't taken the course myself, and I'm not very familiar with the hypnobirthing framework as such, but I assume that many of the techniques and perspectives I learned from her are central to hypnobirthing.
Wow, that's a brave approach to pain. No experience myself, but it seems like a transformative mindset. Coincidentally, after reading your article yesterday, I came across this quote today and thought there was an interesting overlap (though obviously in a less demanding setting!)
"A great deal of technique can be learned naturally by simply paying close attention to one’s body, racket and ball while playing." (W. Timothy Gallwey, The Inner Game of Tennis - note, for those who have not read this, it's about much more than just tennis)
I had a quick 10 minutes between rushing from a work meeting to my gym class. I wanted a few minutes to just breathe. Scrolling through my inbox, I saw a new post by Henrik called "On Child Birth" and I thought thats quite unusual but also am I in the headspace to read about child birth (from a man, I assumed, confused). Decided to open it up. 10 minutes later, I feel replenished, ready for my gym workout, working with my body and not against it, to be my best version. I mean, needless to say, the post itself is very beautifully written. And a couple of push ups and squats are nothing comparable to pain endured during a child birth (not that I know what it is like). It is still a good way to think about experiencing and managing pain, regardless. Thanks Johanna for writing this. Feel like giving you a big, warm hug.
They both are great at sharing 😃.
Definitely!
thanks for this post, we are expecting our third any day now, and we try to get better at the birthing process. Its painful to think of how much knowledge is lost to institutionalism - the medical institutions looking at birth as a mechanical, rather than a natural/organic process. humans are being trained out of listening to their body.
Constant blather from Zen Buddhist sources about making friends with your pain, but this was like a well-written instruction manual for how to do that. I can’t tell you how inspiring this was for me in how to face challenges intelligently. I can’t thank you enough
Thank you for this, I will be giving birth for the first time in a few short months and there is much in here I needed to read
Same here!
Thank you for sharing! I'm having my first child in September, so I've been reading all of the birth stories I can to get an idea of what to expect. What a pleasant surprise to find one from an unexpected source in my inbox this morning!
We had a similar shift in birth quality between our first and second. The first was in the hospital, planned induction at 41 weeks, and it was terrible. Seemed like we were on some out-of-control ride, where we were presented with inadequately explained choices, and then after we made them there were a lot of immediate actions that were driven by the choices which hadn't been discussed. For example, it turns out that if the baby isn't delivered a few hours after contractions are induced, they have to do a c-section. This was never mentioned. We came out of that one harrowed. Maternal stress and mechanical overriding of physiological cues definitely contributed to a bit of a rough start for the baby as well; he got dehydrated the first day, and his immune system was a little weak until he turned 3 or so. Needed a little longer to cook.
Our second we went the full opposite route; home birth, personally hired midwife. My wife was so much more relaxed. Sure there were minor hiccups (also with bathwater) but overall the experience was impossibly better. We were out playing disc golf and my wife was having contractions, but she thought they were around every 30 minutes. After the round we got in the car and I timed them, and they were at 7 minutes. Called the midwife, she agreed with my wife but decided to come by and measure anyways. Midwife came by at 8pm, measured 2 minutes between contractions. "You're in labor!". 3 hours later my daughter was born in our guest room. Perfect 10/10 on the Apgar score, she and my wife were asleep in our bed before midnight.
Thank you so much for this post. I'm long past the age of birthing a child, but I do recognize the significance of attuning to the body's guiding wisdom toward the pleasures of agency and rest. Thank you, Johanna, for your precise and detailed descriptions of how you navigated through your birthings. "It made it visceral to me how important it is to shoulder the full responsibility for your problems and to gather the information you need. This is good to have in your bones in all sorts of situations." So simply stated; after reading the story of your birth process, my body is humming with alert, joyful, anticipation: a swoosh of oxytocin!
My spouse and I have made the decision not to have kids, and I am personally very weary of how many similar and similarly confined narratives there are about women giving birth. Reading Joanna's thoughts, feelings, and observations was such a welcome departure, and one that resonated much more with how I make sense of the world generally. It also gave me the spark for a creative idea which I find extremely exciting—and that doesn't happen to me often.
My spouse and I also work together and have a similar philosophical approach to our relationship, so I have always felt a true kinship with your unit and the way Escaping the Flatlands focuses so much on the space between two people. I loved getting to read the two of you in conversation with each other like this. Thanks, in many ways, for sharing.
I enjoy this format
These birth reflections are infused with not only the physical descriptions but keen mental and emotional underpinnings as well. So important to knit those together in the telling. Not everyone has the ability to experience the midwifery model of care. Some due to high risk, others due to lack of access. But a midwife attended birth is designed to support and help facilitate a deeply transformative and empowering birth experience. (I know not always but the model is based on this.)
I love how you described taking control and being the leader in your own experience. I believe this is the key to an empowered birth (and postpartum) experience. This can be the case for inductions, planned cesareans, long labors or changes in the ideal birth plan.
Hugs and empathy to anyone who has had scary or traumatic birth or postpartum experiences. I am a lactation consultant and know how all of this is intertwined and connected.
I hope reading your account will help others navigate or process their own journeys.
Would love to know her top few resources whether youtubes, books, podcasts
I learned pretty much everything from a Swedish midwife named Asabea Britton. She has written books and teaches courses (unfortunately only in Swedish, although she may offer private coaching in English). Her course is based on hypnobirthing. I haven't taken the course myself, and I'm not very familiar with the hypnobirthing framework as such, but I assume that many of the techniques and perspectives I learned from her are central to hypnobirthing.
Same!
Wow, that's a brave approach to pain. No experience myself, but it seems like a transformative mindset. Coincidentally, after reading your article yesterday, I came across this quote today and thought there was an interesting overlap (though obviously in a less demanding setting!)
"A great deal of technique can be learned naturally by simply paying close attention to one’s body, racket and ball while playing." (W. Timothy Gallwey, The Inner Game of Tennis - note, for those who have not read this, it's about much more than just tennis)
Incredible insight. I’ve printed this out and put in a little drawer by my bed to read this October when my second birth comes knocking.
I'm sorry, I know this isn't the point of the article, but I can't help wondering which Valeria Luiselli book it was?
Thanks for this post. It's great to read about childbirth this... this beautifully candid and raw at the same time. Really hoping for more.
Did Nigel Slater write this?