Totally get what you mean Henrik. Swedish as well and it’s a hard country to chose the road less travelled in. The system requires conformity. It’s a great country but not room for different types of lives.Inspired to read about your journey🙏
It’s so disheartening how collectively afraid we are of different approaches. Like frogs in the same pot silently judging ourselves and each other for jumping to safety. Who knows what the outside holds, but inside, it just keeps getting warmer.
Your bravery provides hope for the rest of us. You deserve as much as anyone to gloat “No, I told you so” but instead have the compassion to share the world you see as it really is.
My wife was reading this over my shoulder, and said something like, “That sounds familiar.”
“Right?” I said.
She just started working from home, and I just put in my two weeks to do the same, and be able to pick up my kids at the end of the school day at least, instead of relying on my parents and daycare every afternoon. Not quite at the homeschool level, but we’ve thought about it.
It dawned on me that every safe bet had backfired for us. The full-time office jobs with benefits put too much pressure on the more limited time with our kids, and ourselves. Not to mention trying to own two houses and trying to get rent income from one (which needed a new foundation last winter).
The problems in our lives felt like whack-a-mole, or one of those squishy toys that either oozes brown goo out the butt or the mouth depending on where you squeeze it.
Your point about it being more acceptable to struggle on the conventional path is so true. More acceptable to others, at least. Easier to explain to them. But harder to explain to myself. Now that I’ve realized how many of our problems stemmed from our choosing the path well travelled, I would feel foolish to keep choosing the conventional problems. Because that is also a choice, just one that so many people have resigned themselves to that other paths are unimaginable.
Thank you for the incredible work you are doing. I suspect that your sacrifices have transformed you and Johanna into a type of resilient, creative person with character, insight and skills (I wish I could think of a better word) that a vanishingly small percent of the human population will ever have.
Not only do I admire your decision to go against the grain with dedicating yourself to Flatland, but as a first generation homeschooled person myself, I admire your decision to homeschool your children. I'm confident they are going to grow into unique and intentional people as the result of all this; I can't wait to see what's in store for 2026!
Hi Henrik, so glad I stumbled across your essay. I’ve been on an alternative path for about 15 years and have had to contend with so much disapproval along the way. I have come to believe that it takes a highly creative and inspired person to even consider such a path, and that such a path is un-understandable for most people. The majority of folks will judge or reject what they don’t understand, so it’s kind of just par for the course. At the same time, there is that rare person for whom you will be the example they needed to take action or make change in their own life! And usually they never even tell you this, but when they do you are reminded that you’re a part of a larger shift. You’re the pioneer, in a sense. Celebrating your courage and bravery:)
Thank you for sharing this! I hope you will get to enjoy the freedom to write fully and the peaceful domestic happiness you described for a long time.
Your writing reminded me of a quote from Jeanette Winterson that I thought I would share:
"When I look back it feels like I was at the borders of common sense, and the sensible thing to do would have been to keep quiet, keep going, learn to lie better and leave later. I have noticed that doing the sensible thing is only a good idea when the decision is quite small. For the life-changing things, you must risk it. And here is the shock – when you risk it, when you do the right thing, when you arrive at the borders of common sense and cross into unknown territory, leaving behind you all the familiar smells and lights, then you do not experience great joy and huge energy. You are unhappy. Things get worse. It is a time of mourning. Loss. Fear. We bullet ourselves through with questions. And then we feel shot and wounded. And then all the cowards come out and say, 'See, I told you so.' In fact, they told you nothing."
Really enjoyed reading these reflections. Thank you for sharing this side of the story. Interesting bit about the feeling of living inside the essays. In different ways, I relate to elements of this essay. From the childhood side, I had the fortune to be homeschooled and now as an adult, I intake the societal responsibilities and expectations, while learning to think and experimenting with how to make a sustainable profit from sharing videos or writing.
'Childhoods of exceptional people' was among the very first essay of yours that I read. Soon after, were 'Sometimes the reason you can’t find people you resonate with is because you misread the ones you meet' and 'A blog post is a very long and complex search query to find fascinating people and make them route interesting stuff to your inbox.' How were the analytics of the rankings surprising to you (if any)? And is there any pattern to how you conducted the research for them?
I can feel you and your suffering. And I can also see you befriending suffering and how she has led you across the tunnel with as little pain as possible. You are incredibly blessed with an understanding partner and loving kids. And what a gift for the kids - I can see them becoming fountains of love and embodied presence in their youth. Please continue sharing the fruits of your labor of love and enriching the community.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us, Henrik. This piece felt genuine, gentle and (paradoxically) encouraging for someone like me, whose life also seems to be moving towards the uncommon path.
Henrik, I take my hat off to Johanna and you for your courage. It feels comforting to read these words.
My situation is a bit like yours was a few years ago: a day job that I find increasingly hard to endure, two little kids, economic pressure (mortgage payments that must be made)—and on the other hand, the decision to make a living from writing, which I feel deep down is just right. But there is also the fear of failure, which is growing stronger. After two months on Substack, I have eight subscribers, seven of them being friends and family.
I can feel what "living inside the essays, instead of just visiting them" must mean to you—for a writer, that's paradise. I congratulate you and Johanna on the life you have earned and fought for.
thank you for sharing something so personal; i love reading your work and will understand it more knowing where it is coming from
Totally get what you mean Henrik. Swedish as well and it’s a hard country to chose the road less travelled in. The system requires conformity. It’s a great country but not room for different types of lives.Inspired to read about your journey🙏
It’s so disheartening how collectively afraid we are of different approaches. Like frogs in the same pot silently judging ourselves and each other for jumping to safety. Who knows what the outside holds, but inside, it just keeps getting warmer.
Your bravery provides hope for the rest of us. You deserve as much as anyone to gloat “No, I told you so” but instead have the compassion to share the world you see as it really is.
My wife was reading this over my shoulder, and said something like, “That sounds familiar.”
“Right?” I said.
She just started working from home, and I just put in my two weeks to do the same, and be able to pick up my kids at the end of the school day at least, instead of relying on my parents and daycare every afternoon. Not quite at the homeschool level, but we’ve thought about it.
It dawned on me that every safe bet had backfired for us. The full-time office jobs with benefits put too much pressure on the more limited time with our kids, and ourselves. Not to mention trying to own two houses and trying to get rent income from one (which needed a new foundation last winter).
The problems in our lives felt like whack-a-mole, or one of those squishy toys that either oozes brown goo out the butt or the mouth depending on where you squeeze it.
Your point about it being more acceptable to struggle on the conventional path is so true. More acceptable to others, at least. Easier to explain to them. But harder to explain to myself. Now that I’ve realized how many of our problems stemmed from our choosing the path well travelled, I would feel foolish to keep choosing the conventional problems. Because that is also a choice, just one that so many people have resigned themselves to that other paths are unimaginable.
Thank you for the incredible work you are doing. I suspect that your sacrifices have transformed you and Johanna into a type of resilient, creative person with character, insight and skills (I wish I could think of a better word) that a vanishingly small percent of the human population will ever have.
Not only do I admire your decision to go against the grain with dedicating yourself to Flatland, but as a first generation homeschooled person myself, I admire your decision to homeschool your children. I'm confident they are going to grow into unique and intentional people as the result of all this; I can't wait to see what's in store for 2026!
Thank you, Brenna. Those were very kind words :)
The scene with your daughter reaching out to grab your hand hit deep 🥲🥲🥲
Hi Henrik, so glad I stumbled across your essay. I’ve been on an alternative path for about 15 years and have had to contend with so much disapproval along the way. I have come to believe that it takes a highly creative and inspired person to even consider such a path, and that such a path is un-understandable for most people. The majority of folks will judge or reject what they don’t understand, so it’s kind of just par for the course. At the same time, there is that rare person for whom you will be the example they needed to take action or make change in their own life! And usually they never even tell you this, but when they do you are reminded that you’re a part of a larger shift. You’re the pioneer, in a sense. Celebrating your courage and bravery:)
Thank you for persevering. My life would be much less rich without your writing.
I really relate to your comments about choosing an unconventional life. Thank you.
Thank you for serving as role models. This is the kind of living we should all strive for, in our own way.
Thank you for sharing this! I hope you will get to enjoy the freedom to write fully and the peaceful domestic happiness you described for a long time.
Your writing reminded me of a quote from Jeanette Winterson that I thought I would share:
"When I look back it feels like I was at the borders of common sense, and the sensible thing to do would have been to keep quiet, keep going, learn to lie better and leave later. I have noticed that doing the sensible thing is only a good idea when the decision is quite small. For the life-changing things, you must risk it. And here is the shock – when you risk it, when you do the right thing, when you arrive at the borders of common sense and cross into unknown territory, leaving behind you all the familiar smells and lights, then you do not experience great joy and huge energy. You are unhappy. Things get worse. It is a time of mourning. Loss. Fear. We bullet ourselves through with questions. And then we feel shot and wounded. And then all the cowards come out and say, 'See, I told you so.' In fact, they told you nothing."
Really enjoyed reading these reflections. Thank you for sharing this side of the story. Interesting bit about the feeling of living inside the essays. In different ways, I relate to elements of this essay. From the childhood side, I had the fortune to be homeschooled and now as an adult, I intake the societal responsibilities and expectations, while learning to think and experimenting with how to make a sustainable profit from sharing videos or writing.
'Childhoods of exceptional people' was among the very first essay of yours that I read. Soon after, were 'Sometimes the reason you can’t find people you resonate with is because you misread the ones you meet' and 'A blog post is a very long and complex search query to find fascinating people and make them route interesting stuff to your inbox.' How were the analytics of the rankings surprising to you (if any)? And is there any pattern to how you conducted the research for them?
Joyous. I revel vicariously in your success. :P
I can feel you and your suffering. And I can also see you befriending suffering and how she has led you across the tunnel with as little pain as possible. You are incredibly blessed with an understanding partner and loving kids. And what a gift for the kids - I can see them becoming fountains of love and embodied presence in their youth. Please continue sharing the fruits of your labor of love and enriching the community.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us, Henrik. This piece felt genuine, gentle and (paradoxically) encouraging for someone like me, whose life also seems to be moving towards the uncommon path.
Henrik, I take my hat off to Johanna and you for your courage. It feels comforting to read these words.
My situation is a bit like yours was a few years ago: a day job that I find increasingly hard to endure, two little kids, economic pressure (mortgage payments that must be made)—and on the other hand, the decision to make a living from writing, which I feel deep down is just right. But there is also the fear of failure, which is growing stronger. After two months on Substack, I have eight subscribers, seven of them being friends and family.
I can feel what "living inside the essays, instead of just visiting them" must mean to you—for a writer, that's paradise. I congratulate you and Johanna on the life you have earned and fought for.